The kind of mommy I want to be

I just want to make something clear, in case you couldn't tell. I am not an expert. I'm floundering about, figuring this mommy thing out as I go. I don't really have a good example to follow, only what I don't want to do. My father was abusive. My mother was absent and when she was home she was passive aggressive. She did the best she could, and she might have done better before my memories really kick in. I don't know. What I do know is that I don't want Little Man to know what I did growing up. I try to follow my sisters' examples, since they seemed to rise above it and raise two dang good kids each. I try to find the positive, and to make sure he knows he is safe and loved.
I am a little tired of defending my choices. I make the decisions my heart says are best. I think I do a dang good job. Through all the tummy issues, the sleepless nights and the fussiness, I keep true to my ideals as a parent. I try to teach by doing and be the good example he needs.  And at the end of the day, he is safe, and healthy, and happy. And that's what truly matters.