Breastfeeding vs formula

We had five blissful days of sleeping through the night, then last night he woke after only four hours. I'm not going to lie, I was a little bitter. He ate then I put him in the crib where he put himself to sleep bit it still upset me. One step forward and ten steps back.

So Bloomburg (or whatever the mayor of New York's name is) has gotten a lot of talk going about formula vs. breastfeeding. As a first time mom I have to say, I feel like both sides of the issue are bullies. On one hand, formula companies are highly aggressive with their free samples and swag. On the other hand the "boob nazis" as I've heard La Leche League and lactation consultants referred to make me feel like a failure for even considering formula for my son. I'm not saying either side is wrong. In fact I don't think there is a right answer. What I do no is no one has the right to tell a mother what she should do. Let a woman choose to do what she wants for her child. For me the choice was breastfeeding, but that's not the choice for everyone.

Given the difficulties I've had with the lactose overliad and my dairy free diet you might not think it's worth it. And believe me, so do I. But when I'm doubting myself I remember why I chose breastfeeding in the first place.
        *It's cheaper
                 It doesn't get much cheaper than free and I never have to rush to the store because I'm out.
*It's better for the environment Yes, I pump and store milk, but I do so in reusable plastic containers that will produce less waste for the local landfill. While I'm no eco-freak picketing companies that don't have recycling programs, it never hurts to be a little conscious of the only planet capable of sustaining life. *Bonding time The time I spend nursing makes me feel that much closer to my son. And the look on his face makes me smile every time. *Always have it with me Since my boobs seem to be permanently affixed to my chest, I will never be without them, and therefore Little Man's food supply. *It's better for him A baby's body is quite literally made to process his mother's milk. Who am I to argue with that? So yes, there are reasons to breastfeed, but there are also reasons not to. Sore nipples, sore back, watching your diet for the sake of your supply are all tedious and valid reasons to decide to use formula. IN the end, as with everything it comes down to one thing for me. My body, my decision.

Attitude adjustment

Yesterday I realized I didn't need Anthony to sleep better. I said it while I was pregnant and it's still true. I just had to remember. What I said eas "A new baby isn't thzt exhausting if you ignore the clock and live on his routine." And you know what? I was right. Yesterday I laid down every time Little Man was asleep. Last night we had a "bad night" where the longest he slept was three hours. But you know what? I'm ok. I got plenty of sleep. I'm going to try falling into his rythyms for a few days and see how it goes.

Now this plan does have downsides. The people in my life will have to deal with the schedule. I won't have as much time with my husband. My friends (who I already barely see) will have to be flexible when we make plans. And I have to take the stress off myself. I am putting pressure on myself to finish my book (which should have been done back in March), but I need to be more patient with myself. Cause after all, my son is worth any sacrifice.

The good stuff

It was brought to my attention that I only share the bad on facebook, so I've decided to take some time to share sole of the good. Little Man is a very good baby. He doesn't fuss often, usually when he needs something. In the rare occassion that he does fuss, I am somewhat at a loss since it doesn't usually happen. So you hear about it.

He has amazing head control for a two month old. I rarely have to support his head. He doesn't have fine muscle control, but he's definately ahead of schedule.

He isn't sleeping as much as I want, but he's usually pretty cheerful about it. He smiles and coos and wiggles and makes it impossible to be mad. Even exhausted I can't help but smile.

He is so cute I can't go anywhere without causing a stir.

He discovered splashing the other day. I think I'm going to be getting wet at bath time.

He loves tv, which daddy always has on. But he doesn't have the attention span to follow it for very long.

He's really good with strangers. I can leave him with anyone and he's ok with that.

There's a lot of tough times with a newborn, but the good far outweighs the bad. Please don't take my complaints to mean I love it any less. I'm just venting.

No more minitor

I don't know if I talked about it much, but Little Man came home on a heart monitor. It kept an eye on his heart as well as his breathing. The first week he was home he had a few alarms, though they weren't terribly scary for me since I was used to them from the hospital. But since May 10, he hasn't had a single alarm. I started trying to get him off it at the end of May. Finally on June 22 I had had enough. Anthony had sores on his chest from both the band and the pads and I simply refused to use an unecesary peice if equipment that was starting to hurt him. So for the first time in my lufe, I stood up to a doctor and took him off it. I have no regrets. I love being able to just grab the baby and wander around the house. And Anthony seems to like being able to squirm without getting tangled in his leads. Yesterday I turned it back in the supply company. Here's to my healthy baby boy. :-)

Adventures in Breastfeeding

Like many moms, I nursed Anthony soon after he was born. But once he went into the nursery, it was doctor's orders that we couldn't nurse until my milk came in. Once my milk came in I was allowed to nurse him once a day. The nurses would weigh him, let him eat, then weigh him again. And it didn't take long for us to figure out that his transfers were very low. Because of this and his feeding issues,  Little Man was fed from a bottle. I used a breast pump to get my milk in and carried bottles of milk into the nursery everyday when I visited him.

By the time he came home, he had nipple confusion. He would not latch onto my breast very often, though I tried to offer him a breast at every feeding. I was pumping about eight times a day while taking care of a premature newborn. I was so exhausted, I was considering switching to formula. So I called a lactation consultant. She gave us a nipple shield and there was light at the end of the tunnel. From that point on Little Man latched on every time. His transfers still weren't high enough to be done with the bottle (preemies have trouble organizing their jaws and suckling effectively) but I was able to stop the overnight pumpings at least. Within a week he had upped his transfers enough that he didn't always need a bottle to supplement.

But sadly that wasn't the only issue. He had diarrhea, gas, and the associated fussiness frequently. After discussing it with his doctor, we figured he was sensitive to enzymes from the dairy products I ate so I cut all dairy out of my diet. Do you have any idea how hard it is to avoid all dairy? It's in everything I love. But I was willing to put up with a special diet if he helped. The problem is it didn't. He still had diarrhea, though not as frequently. He also had times when he kept eating even though I knew he wasn't hungry. So one night I Googled 'Will a baby eat when he isn't hungry' and found an article on lactose overload. It's basically when a baby eats too much foremilk (the frothier milk that comes out of the boob first) and not enough hindmilk (which has more fat so stays in his intestines longer). It was because I switched sides frequently because my son didn't like the slower flow. So we reorganized and called lactation again. Now I keep relatching him to.the same breast as long as he'll stay on it. It's too soon to tell if it's working, but he seems to be more content. I have hope. I'm sure we'll have other issues down the road, but for we got this.

The kind of mommy I want to be

I just want to make something clear, in case you couldn't tell. I am not an expert. I'm floundering about, figuring this mommy thing out as I go. I don't really have a good example to follow, only what I don't want to do. My father was abusive. My mother was absent and when she was home she was passive aggressive. She did the best she could, and she might have done better before my memories really kick in. I don't know. What I do know is that I don't want Little Man to know what I did growing up. I try to follow my sisters' examples, since they seemed to rise above it and raise two dang good kids each. I try to find the positive, and to make sure he knows he is safe and loved.
I am a little tired of defending my choices. I make the decisions my heart says are best. I think I do a dang good job. Through all the tummy issues, the sleepless nights and the fussiness, I keep true to my ideals as a parent. I try to teach by doing and be the good example he needs.  And at the end of the day, he is safe, and healthy, and happy. And that's what truly matters.

Sleepy time

So I've been asked how I get Little Man to sleep. Since the explanation is a little long-winded for a comment, I decided to make a post about it. I tried to find help on this subject when we first brought our son home without help. Some of the things I do I found in books or articles, some comes from advice friends have given and one or two I stumbled across on my own.
Womb service
No matter what gets my Little Man worked up, a recording of womb sounds is part of my routine to calm him right down. I bought "Sounds of the Womb" from Amazon MP3 and it's the best eight bucks I've ever spent.
Binki babe
Babies are biologically hard wired with the desire to suck. I had no choice about the introduction of the binki because of early feeding issues, but now it's a godsend. Sometimes just popping it in his mouth makes it all better. If he's really riled up and the binki just isn't cutting it, I insert my pinkyin his mouth, nail side down. A gentle touch to the roof of the mouth starts him sucking, and it's not long until his eyelids start to get heavy.
Rock n' roll
Little Man can't resist movement. We spend our nights in our bed, thanks to his cosleeping bassinet. While in there, he prefers to sway side-to-side rather than rock front-to-back. During the day we rock in the recliner. No matter where or how, the movement needs to be big, ricking the chair through it's full range or swaying until one cheek rises off the bed and then the other.
The Beat Goes On
I know it sounds odd, but one of the best ways to soothe a baby is to beat him. A steady rhythm on his back or butt sends him off in a hurry.
Blanket Assumption
Everyone can think if a time that snuggling under a warm blanket knocked them right out. Why would a baby be any different.
There are many more ways to get baby to sleep, but these are my go-tos. I don't always use everyone. Last nught I used womb soynds, blankie and beatings. Tgia morning I swaywd, used a binki ans beat him. Sometimes one or two things on this list not only are a complete miss, they wind up making him mad. The most important thing is to find what works for you. Trust your instincts and don't be afraid to try something new.

Baby Nails

Maintaing Little Man's nails gives me heartburn. His nails are super soft and snag all the time. While trying to clip them over the weekend, I got his finger and felt simply awful.  I think I'm going to put the clippers away and go back to filing them like I usually do. I use the finer side of an emery board at a slight angle (maybe thirty degrees) to the edge of the nail. File in only one direction in a straight line. Because his nails are so soft, this doesn't take much, maybe three passes. But since he is a flailer and recently has started to grip anything he can get his hands on, it's important to keep them under control. And at least my cosmetology is license is being used for something these days.

Family affairs

We took Little Man to Wisconsin to meet my husband's family this weekend. He's not a very good traveler because he doesn't like his car seat. Or rather he doesn't like the restraints of his seat. But we only had to stop one extra time than usual. We made it to my husband's grandfather's house only a little later than usual. This picture is of four generations together. :-)

The lack of blogs this week are directly proportional to my lack of sleep. Little Man decided we didn't need anything silly like sleep. It started Saturday with six hours out of twenty-four, then got a little better. He's been wanting to nurse every two hours at the most. But I made a discovery that should make a difference -- he associates nursing with going to sleep. Since that discovery, I stafted using other methods to help him get to sleep and we're doing better. Don't know how this will effect overnights but I will be sure to let you know. I will say that last night went pretty dang well.