Friday, June 8, 2012

How am I supposed to get everything done?

Since I got Anthony purely one the breast, he only sleeps about two and a half to three hours. He nurses for about 45 minutes. He is awake for a couple hours two to three times a day. And after he eats, I have to hold him for about twenty minutes to half an hour to lessen the chances of him spitting up. Somehow, with the time I have left, I'm supposed to keep the house clean, do enough laundry that I don't have to go naked, try to maintain a decent eating schedule, and run any errands I have. And that's not including making time for myself to ward off post partum, trying to write, and spending some time with my husband. Now admittedly, some of them can be done at the same time, like holding the baby and writing - but not many. I am getting better at prioritizing everything, but I'm still rushing around trying to get everything done. And I didn't even mention sleep. No wonder I'm always tired!

My husband tries to help as much as he can, but it only goes so far. He can't feed Little Man because he's ill equipped. Getting him to change a diaper is like pulling teeth. He gets to sleep through the night. And he goes to work during the day. So I tell myself I'm justified if I get snippy with him. Don't get me wrong. He's very emotionally supportive, and he'll do anything I ask. The problem with that is nine times out of ten it's just easier to do it myself than to ask.
Sometimes I feel incredibly alone. And then I feel guilty and depressed because women raise kids without any support at all, and here I am whining because I'm tired and busy. So I try to keep my chin up and keep on keeping.

At least tomorrow night I will get some sleep. Anthony and I are going to spend the night out at my folks house so Mom can watch home while I sleep. I want to stagger nursing and bottle because I don't want him to backslide. And it means I don't have to have as much milk ahead of time.

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